Tonight was a little bit frustrating. I knew this week would be a challenge, but I guess I wasn't expecting it to actually be HARD.

After class, I went out by the fountain and read. I sat outside for well over an hour, and I didn't see anyone I knew. The El Pozo volleyball team (not my team - the good team) had a game tonight, but we had decided earlier that we probably shouldn't go unless we brought people with us. I wanted to get out and do something, so I texted two people I have been trying to meet with and asked if they wanted to come. One said she'd try, and texted me ten minutes before the game and said she couldn't. The other never wrote back.

It's just... I don't know. It's hard to feel like a "missionary" or even a successful witness when all I do in a night is watch a couple of episodes of The Simpsons with one of my roommates. I hate that I sat outside as long as I did, and I didn't even see anyone I could talk to. I'm not someone who can just go up to people and start talking. For the first time since getting here, I felt lonely. I felt like I didn't know my purpose. I HATE that.

I have plans to eat lunch with a friend on Wednesday. That should be good. Until then, I pray that I can find my purpose. One of my goals for the semester is to begin to live "prayerfully" - to allow God to walk with me all the time. I want to start doing that. I know that, if I were, I wouldn't feel lonely. I wouldn't search for a purpose, because I'd be letting God lead me to it all the time. I pray that, tomorrow, I let God walk with me.