time to quit thinking for the night

Well, I am finally officially "home" for the next 4 months. After four nights at La Casa Verde, we finally all got into housing. Orientation and registration are this week, and we're getting ready for classes to begin. Room 202 in Collegio Cain-Murray definitely doesn't feel like home yet. A few things connect me to the familiar - a picture on my desk, a sweatshirt on the bed, my computer, my journals, my Bible - but, for the most part, it's a little overwhelming.

Angie and Erin (two of the female team members) have convinced me to take "intermediate" level Spanish. This sounds INSANE to me, but they told me that if I understand present tense (I do) and if I know how to say "my name is Audrey" and "what is your name?", then I'd be bored out of my mind in a beginner class. So... I'm doing it. I know it will be a challenge, but I think it will be a good one. First of all, grades are meaningless this semester. I really want/need to remember that. Second, a challenging Spanish class will help me pick up the language faster, and I really want to do that. I will make a much more significant impact if I can communicate in the language of the people here.

I know I'm in the right place. I felt it today, sitting with three other team members, singing praise to God as rain beat down on the tin roof of La Casa Verde. Our team is a team of 10 people, and it is amazing to feel the completeness when all 10 of us are in the room. I feel like an idiot with the language several times a day, but I'm trying to not let that hold me back. Someone pointed out yesterday something that seems obvious... would you ever consider laughing at/about someone's lack of English vocabulary, if they were honestly trying to learn? I wouldn't, and I really don't think anyone (or many people, at least) will do that here.

It's just scary. It's scary to realize that five days has felt like five weeks, and that I will be here for four months. It's scary to share an apartment with a girl from Honduras who knows NO English. It's scary to realize that something that happened 10 months ago continues to affect my views about drinking - I didn't realize it had ANY effect, but I felt it tonight, watching three of my (female) team members drink. It's scary, but I know it'll be okay. God is here, holding me every step of the way. He can take anything I throw at Him, including a little bit (a lot) of fear.

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." -- Exodus 14:14