And we all fall down again

It's not always easy.

That's half of the biggest lesson I've learned this past week: it's not always easy. I knew that, of course... I've had hard days, weeks, months, etc. But this time I learned it in a different way. Because this time, that's only half the lesson. The other half? ...But God's always there.

This week hasn't been BAD. And, honestly, I can't quite say what made it hard. But it was certainly harder than the two weeks before it. I think there was just a ton going on, and there wasn't really any time to relax. And when I finally got the chance to relax this weekend, I felt so alone. I've been down for a good chunk of the weekend, and a huge part of me just wants someone who I can be completely comfortable with near me. This whole week just wore me out with everyone being weird about something, so I was convinced I was ready to just be done with people... but now I'm so ready to be around those friends who I don't have to worry about that stuff with.

I'm really not as down as I sound. I mean, I feel pretty run down, but I know that it's all okay. I sat out on the balcony and just talked to God for a while tonight. Some of it was good, and some of it was me being frustrated. I think I find that really amazing... that we have a God that listens and responds to us, no matter what we're saying.

That's what has made this week so cool, I think... I didn't wake up every morning going "Hey, God, show me what you want me to learn today! I'm excited!" I know that sounds awfully energetic for 8:30 in the morning, but that's how it had been for the first two weeks of reading the Bible in the morning. This week, though, I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay put and avoid the day. But I got up, I read the Bible, and you know what? I got something out of it, every day. Every day this week, by the time I was done reading for the morning, my mindset had changed. The fatigue melted away, and I faced the day with God at my side.

I don't really know what this week will be like... there's a lot of hard stuff (test, poster presentation tomorrow, assignments due all week), but there's also a lot to look forward to (the END of classes, Invisible Children tomorrow night, Branch Barks, Bible Study on the Lawn, End of the Year Banquet, talking to my best friend, etc.)... so, we'll see where the week takes me. But no matter what, I know I'm not alone. And that's pretty awesome.