divine mystery

On the argument that science removes any "divine mystery" from the world:

"Do not fear, there is plenty of divine mystery left. Many people who have considered all the scientific and spiritual evidence still see God's creative and guiding hand at work. For me, there is not a shred of disappointment or disillusionment in these discoveries about the nature of life - quite the contrary! How marvelous and intricate life turns out to be! How deeply satisfying is the digital elegance of DNA! How aesthetically appealing and artistically sublime are the components of living things, from the ribosome that translates RNA into protein, to the metamorphosis of the caterpillar into the butterfly, to the fabulous plumage of the peacock attracting his mate! Evolution, as a mechanism, can be and mst be true. But that says nothing about the natur of its author. For those who believe in God, there are reasons now to be more in awe, not less."

- The Language of God, Francis Collins

whew

I feel like I can finally sigh and take a breath after a long week... and it's only Tuesday night. These first two days of the week have been CRAZY... lots of homework, meetings, interactions, and emotions. I think things should mellow out from here, though. Last night, I was determined to finish a problem for DSP. I looked at the clock when I finished, and it was 2 am. Tonight, I decided to finish the assignment, and I finished at 12:45... much better, I think. I feel like this semester is shaping up to be one of the best and one of the most difficult, as far as academics are concerned. DSP is SO much work, and I feel like I'm constantly either working on or avoiding some homework or lab. At the same time, though, I actually am understanding organic chemistry (!!) and even take pleasure (or something close to it) in doing my biomechanics homework.

I've really tried to get involved with the developing women's ministry at CCF over the last few weeks. We had our first meeting tonight, and it seemed like it really went well. The turnout was pretty good (50ish girls, I think), the speakers were awesome, and the atmosphere seemed fun and like a good community. The speakers talked about the things they used to define them as "good enough" - the places they drew their worth from, and how they were trapped by that. A Big Sap, an intern, and a staff member all spoke, and it was really interesting. It was also fun to hang out with some of my friends who are 4th and 5th years... there were only a couple of other 3rd year girls there, and it's nice to break out of the bubble sometimes.

Other random thoughts from the week:
- The hardest part of being an optimist is when those moments come when you realize that things DON'T always work out the way you want.
- The best part of being an optimist is that it doesn't take too long to start looking beyond the disappointment to when things will work out.
- A Big Sap (senior leader)/pretty sorority girl called me "a stud" tonight (and meant it as a compliment). I think this settles a dispute I had with my mother at one point when, after I said I was a stud, she said "honey... studs are BOYS."
- I wish I weren't such a goofy wimp about some stuff. I want ask a friend I'd like to get to know better if she'd want to go get coffee sometime, just to hang out and talk. Thus far, I haven't figured out how to go about this.
- This makes me very glad I'm not a boy. Thankfully, I will never have to ask a boy out on a date. The added pressure of there being some potential romantic involvement might, in fact, make my head explode.

That's all for now. Good night.

totally into it...

"Agape, or selfless altruism, presents a major challenge for the evolutionist. It is quite frankly a scandal to reductionist reasoning. It cannot be accounted for by the drive of individual selfish genes to perpetuate themselves. Quite the contrary: it may lead humans to make sacrifices that lead to great personal suffering, injury, or death, without any evidence of benefit. And yet, if we carefully examine that inner voice we sometimes call conscience, the motivation to practice this kind of love exists within all of us, despite our frequent efforts to ignore it."
--The Language of God, by Francis S. Collins

and all at once, the crowd begins to sing...

...sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. ("All at Once," The Fray)

It's amazing how quickly everything becomes so busy. By the end of the third week of school (this week!), I will have: taken two tests; gone to three small group meetings, two Bible Studies, two leadership group meetings, two organizational meetings, one official school function (as a student representative); turned in six homework assignments; taken four online quizzes; read two books(!); made a movie; applied for two jobs; made 10 poster board invitations; and who knows what else. The point is... it has been busy.

The semester has been good so far, though... I haven't felt stressed out at any point - just BUSY. I think I'm taking a good number of classes, and I love that I have been able to spend time with my friends. I spent all day Saturday just hanging out with several of my favorite people in Atlanta, and I'm so glad. It's my hope that I can maintain this sense of balance for the rest of the semester. It might not happen... but it'd be nice if it stayed this way.

A good friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend on Friday night. I guess she has felt that he was spiritually "stuck" since last spring, but she was in Thailand all fall. Since coming back, she has realized that she really wants to be in a relationship with someone who will push her spiritually, not someone who is complacent in his faith. She still loves her boyfriend, and I'm incredibly impressed with her strength as she fights to stick to the decision she has made, and which she believes is right. I've been trying to encourage her as much as possible, and I think we're going to go out for coffee sometime this week.

I think I'm going to head to bed... first, though, I think I will hang up my posters. It worries me that the periodic table is taped up next to my desk, but I still don't have up any posters. This needs to be corrected. Sorry I didn't say anything more interesting.

life at tech

Since returning to Tech (after a semester abroad in a very different academic atmosphere), I feel like I have a much keener awareness of the truly odd things that make it Tech. My DSP class provided me with two such examples this afternoon:

1) About 20 minutes into class, a young man (probably a year younger than me, if I had to guess) came in dressed in a tan sport coat, sat in the seat in front of me, shook hands with the guy next to him (not to introduce himself, but to acknowledge the existing relationship they had), set his leather briefcase (think typical square briefcase a door-to-door insurance salesman would have) on the table, and promptly pulled out a jar of milk. He unscrewed the lid (I think it was a strawberry jam jar - red lid) and drank out of his jar throughout class.

2) My teacher, at one point, said "A real number is just a special case (type) of an imaginary number." And no one seemed to think it was odd.

back to school

Just over halfway through the first week of classes, I decided it was a good time to post an update. I drove 12.5 hours on Saturday and arrived to my dorm. A call to the dorm duty staff, three trips of carrying things (with help from three friends), and a few hours of unpacking/setting things up later, I was officially moved in to my room. It's a nice room. I haven't hung up any posters yet, but I have a bulletin board, some pictures, a dinosaur, and a newt that make my room feel comfortable.

The past few days seem to have flown by - much of my time has been spent on simply getting things in order... parking permit, internet, working car windows, groceries, school supplies, textbooks, etc. I have also been able to spend time with my friends, which has been really nice. I hope I can keep the balance I feel like I have right now - time with my CCF and my non-CCF friends seems about in the proportions that it should be right now. I'm going on the CCF retreat this weekend, and I think it should be fun. I don't have the usual anxiety that I have going into a retreat (even though two of my closest CCF friends won't be coming). So... that's good. I'm also hoping that a few of my friends from Southern (the other school that sent people to Puebla) will be able to come up for the retreat.

Classes, as expected, seem like they will be very hard. I am, though, genuinely interested in all of them. My least interesting class (an electrical engineering course) only meets twice a week, with a 1.5 hour lab and 1.5 hour recitation each week, as well. Organic Chemistry will be a challenge, but I'm determined to keep up with it - do the readings, homework, etc. as they come, rather than at the last minute. My MSE (Materials Science Engineering) professor is great. The class is known for being tedious and challenging (lots of memorization), but my professor is determined to make his sections the exception to this rule. His passion for the area of study is obvious, and he makes the lectures interesting. Also, a couple of my friends (including one of my closest friends here at school) are in this class. My last class, Biomechanics, will definitely be a challenging. The professor I have is "the hard one" for this course; however, she's also "the good one." She clearly knows her stuff and knows how to teach. The course will be work, but it will be very interesting. We spent 10 minutes or so of the first day of class learning why it is important for people to have kneecaps.

This semester, undoubtedly, will be busy. I also think it could be really great, though. I'm really looking forward to seeing how God uses this time, the people surrounding me, and my skills and passions. I'm excited.

I was recently chided for the lack of updates since December 12. I offer a sincere and complete apology for this tremendous wrong. I hope that everyone out there can forgive me.

That being said, I don't feel like I have much to say. The last couple of weeks have been lots of fun, but relatively mellow. Lots of time with family and friends, and most of that time has been spent doing nothing in particular. Highlights include:
- Flying to Atlanta.
- Watching my brother graduate from college!
- Celebrating my birthday with a surprise, ice cream, a newspaper birthday hat, "I Heart Huckabees", and some great friends.
- Flying to Kansas City.
- Hanging out (laughing, smiling, driving, talking, realxing) with my best friend.
- Driving to Winfield, St. Joseph, Kansas City, Wichita, and Kansas City again.
- Seeing my parents, brother, sister, and brother-in-law.
- Celebrating my 21st birthday with the people mentioned above (minus the bro-in-law)
- Watching college basketball in my favorite building on earth and college football on my couch.
-Receiving a (WAY overdue) high school graduation present.
- Missing Mexico, loving home, and being simultaneously scared and excited about going back to Tech.

I guess that's the important stuff from the past couple of weeks. I'm heading back to Atlanta on Saturday. As I expressed above, that makes me happy and a little scared. I know it'll be good, though. Right now, I'm just trying to really enjoy the time I have around the things and people that make Lawrence my home.