moving forward

My small group today blew my mind, and I want to write about it before I lose my thoughts about it. After everyone got there, Becky handed us all a piece of paper and told us to write down all of the baggage we carry with us every day. Some were supposed to be literal (cell phone, Buzzcard, keys), but the point was to think about the mental, emotional, and spiritual baggage we carry with us. So, with an amazing playlist of Guster, Death Cab for Cutie, and others in the background, we did it. Most of the stuff were things I already knew were going to be on there - my parents' divorce, a fear of abandonment, etc. But there were a couple of things that surprised me, both in their presence and absence from the list.

Anyway, after we came up with our lists, Becky took us out to a big rock on a hill next to the interstate (one of the weird parts about Tech is its immediate proximity to I-75/85 and their 10 lanes of traffic). One by one, we shared some of the stuff on our lists. Then, we all stood up and Becky said, "Okay, here's the thing. Everything on these lists: the fears, the pain, the struggles... they AREN'T who you are. They are the past, they are gone, and they aren't you. So... we're moving forward." Then, she pulled out a lighter, lit her piece of paper on fire, and let it burn to ash on the rock. One by one, we each did it. Finally, she told us that it was time to move forward, and that God wanted us to move forward. So, now I have a green arrow drawn on my left hand reminding me to move forward.

Maybe this isn't anything new or revolutionary. But today, it was awesome to hear. The fact that our fears and concerns aren't just things we're stuck with... wow. What freedom, you know? Just like it says in Hebrews 12, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." How cool is it, that we're not just called to bear these burdens and approach God and live our lives wearing our shame on our sleeves? We're called to let go of ALL of that shame, sadness, and fear and just live the life God has planned for us.

So, I've never been big on the whole Lent thing... I guess our church never emphasized it very much, so I've just never approached this season in this way. But this year, I'm going to give something up. I'm going to give up the shame and fear that keeps me from trusting God completely. I know this won't be the last time I make this decision, and I know I won't succeed at even a perfect 40 days. But if the whole point of Lent is to prepare our hearts for Easter, what better way is there to do so, than to start giving up everything holding me back from feeling Christ's love completely?